I tell this story often; however, it begs retelling because it was a huge catalyst in my life. After my divorce was final (and even a bit before, if I’m honest), I made decisions that were indicative of the brokenness of my soul at the time. I had done some healing, and passed through a majority of my grief, but I still wasn’t in the best place. My dearest sister and friend, Faith, sat me down one day, looked me eyeball to eyeball, and said, “sis, you are not okay.” She proceeded to tell me that I was healed and healing, but was not whole.
Y’all…the air became THICK with offense!
She could probably feel the steam coming off of me. But I couldn’t find ‘nary and argument to give back.
I was upset because, did she not know how hard I fought to get from under the clouds of depression and sadness that followed me everyday during the worst parts of my separation and divorce? The fact that I was alive should have been enough for her, and here she was asking me for more.
Besides, what the heck is wholeness, anyways? Everyone keeps talking about it, but in this vague and “holier-than-thou” kind of way. What is this graduated level of Christiandom that everyone but me seems to have obtained?
After that conversation (Sidenote: this is the VERY reason by having solid and godly accountability is important!), I took time to study and research what wholeness was.
That led me to studying the word "Shalom", the Hebrew word for Peace. The concept of Shalom is “nothing lacking, nothing missing.” It speaks to a oneness of self and (for believers) oneness with Christ. No fragmented pieces, but a stillness and acceptance of your inner self, while allowing yourself to continuously be made in the image of God.
It’s strange to wrap your mind around such a concept if you’re experiencing brokenness or have experienced trauma. However, it is possible; first in this life, and in totality in the next. We are both whole, and being made whole.
In the thick of your hardest moments, it's hard to see how anything can ever be "whole" again, but that's the beauty of the work of Jesus. He takes dead things, and transforms them into the likes of which no one can fathom, especially not the enemy of your soul who planned to destroy you.
However, It is not until you allow God to deal with the wound, that you can experience wholeness. It’s like trying to get a person who’s been shot to consider Crossfit. There’s nothing wrong with Crossfit, however, the priority is to make sure that person is provided the help they need so that don’t bleed out.
Maybe that’s why you have not yet experienced wholeness. Perhaps there is some healing that needs to take place first, and until you choose to address it, nothing about peaceful living will make sense for your context.
Or maybe you’ve taken the steps to heal, but don’t know what to do next. Healing can be a very challenging place, especially when it’s new. Wholeness is a choice you make day to day, moment by moment. It’s an agreement to live from the place God rescued you into, and provided revelation for you to maintain.
Wherever you are, I want you to know this: WHOLENESS IS YOUR PORTION! It’s your birthright in Christ and all you have to do it opt in.